Let's talk about.

I guess we should talk about these. “Should” is maybe not the right word, but I have one, so we’re going to. I promised myself I wouldn’t write about them, too.

I’ve been getting headaches most of my life. The only time I can recall not having them, regularly, was when I was drinking a lot. You’d think I’d have even more headaches. I was actually never sober.

I get headaches at the base of my head until the pain travels up one side or the other. Then it throbs. I get headaches that poke through my eye until they settle at the base of my head. Throbs. I get headaches for days and weeks, but never just an hour or two. I get headaches that don’t throb but still make me vomit. I get headaches that despite the throbbing I can still somehow work. Like now.

What’s hardest about them? You know, it’s not the pain. It’s people who don’t believe in it. People who roll their eyes. Click their tongues. Say things like, “Of course you have a headache.” Neurologists say things like, “Hey, migraines are hard.” It angers me. It saddens me. No one with a headache wants a headache. No one with chronic headaches wants chronic headaches.

And there it becomes a prison.

You can’t mention them. You don’t want to mention them. You’re alone with them, looking completely disengaged in meetings, weddings, McDonald’s, used car dealerships. You don’t get the raise, you don’t get the promotion. You don’t get the Big Mac and you don’t get the car. Just another headache.